


One More Step Across The Finish Line

by partypaprika



Category: What Maisie Knew (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 07:06:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2499011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partypaprika/pseuds/partypaprika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maisie doesn’t tell Jen that her sixteenth birthday was the only birthday after Maisie’s tenth that her mom didn’t forget. Or that the only reason Susannah even remembered the day correctly was that MTV coordinated the birthday party after approaching Susannah about the idea. After all, it was too much for the network to pass up—the in-demand Susannah wishing her young daughter a happy birthday along with her nearest and dearest chart-topping friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One More Step Across The Finish Line

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the incomparable YJ for the excellent beta and amazing encouragement.

                On the day of Maisie’s high school graduation, she wakes up some indeterminable time before her alarm goes off. She lies there, eyes closed against the cool darkness and tries to keep her mind blank. She pictures a calm white wall, completely bare, and focuses on breathing in and out.

                Eventually, she hears Margo’s quiet steps coming down the hallway before Margo stops outside of Maisie’s door frame. Maisie doesn’t open her eyes, but she can imagine Margo, leaning against the door, just watching Maisie, taking in the moment before everything starts moving. After a few seconds, Maisie lifts up the covers next to her.

                Margo gives a low laugh and then walks over to climb into the bed. She curls around Maisie, one arm wrapping around her and the other coming up to stroke her’s hair gently.

                “You caught me,” she says, her voice smiling.

                Maisie opens her eyes. “Maybe you caught me.”

Margo laughs again, this time a lighter chuckle. “That I did.” She smoothes out Maisie’s bangs. “Today’s the big day. You’re graduating. You’re going to be a real adult.”

                The knot that’s steadily been growing in Maisie’s stomach for the last month rises straight into Maisie’s throat. Maisie can’t even open her mouth to say anything.

                “You know that I love you, right?” Margo says, quietly into Maisie’s hair. “And that I’m so proud of you.”

                Maisie nods. “I know,” Maisie says, her voice barely coming out as a whisper. She turns towards Margo and hides her face in Margo’s hair. “I love you so much too.”

                It’s almost funny when Maisie thinks about it. Ever since she understood how child custody worked, she’s only wanted one thing: to turn eighteen and graduate from high school. The magic key to her freedom. Once she’s eighteen and done with school, then that’s it. She’s free from her parents and all of their whims and issues and fighting. For the first time, it won’t be her problem anymore.

                Maisie has spent so much of her life wanting to be free from her parents. But now, hours away from the last biological thread tying her to Susannah and Beale, she finally understands the price. Because once she’s eighteen, she no longer belongs to anyone. And that includes Margo and Lincoln.

                So Maisie tries to make every second with Margo count before the alarm clock goes off. Supposedly Susannah and Beale actually plan to attend her graduation and if they’re here, this morning could be the last alone time Maisie gets with Lincoln and Margo until Susannah and Beale leave. They’ve both said that they’ll be spending a week or so in the city; it means nothing. They could both have emergencies and be unable to come or they could both show up and stay in the city for a month (although, if that happened, based on prior history, they would either forget about Maisie or spend the entire time trying to one-up each other with Maisie as the battleground).

                When the alarm goes off, Margo slowly gets up and turns it off. “Alright Maise,” she says, “Time to get up.” When Maisie closes her eyes tight and doesn’t move, Margo laughs. “Does someone need some tickling to get out of bed? I think I can accommodate that.”

                Maisie is out of the bed before Margo’s hands have even moved and Maisie takes a second to glare at Margo. “Not fair.” Maisie says. “That’s cheating.”

                “Somehow I think that I can live with myself. Now come on, go take a shower so that I can do your hair.”

When Maisie and Margo finally go downstairs to the kitchen, Lincoln is at the stove, flipping pancakes. A quick glance reveals that more than a few are Mickey Mouse style. Maisie hides a smile.

“Wow, someone looks nice.” Margo says as she goes around the island and kisses Lincoln good morning.

Maisie looks at Lincoln’s suit and feels herself tense up, but she keeps her face neutral.

                “Well, I’ve got to look my best for my prettiest girl.” He says. “Sorry Margo, you’re number two today.” Margo rolls her eyes good-naturedly and Lincoln turns around to give Maisie a full view of the suit.

                Maisie knows this suit—the high-end tailoring and deep grey pinstripes are very familiar. She’s seen this suit every time Lincoln met with Susannah’s or Beale’s lawyers. On one very memorable occasion, he wore it to court to convince the family court judge to not let CPS take Maisie away. All of the creases are especially crisp right now. Lincoln must have taken it to the dry cleaners in preparation for today.

                “It looks great,” Maisie says, flashing Lincoln a thumbs up.

                Lincoln frowns. “I know that look. What’s up, Maise?” Margo frowns as well, making Maisie feel self conscious. She tucks her hair behind her ear slowly to give herself some time to think.

                Maisie finally shrugs. “It’s just a graduation. It’s not formal.”

                Now Lincoln frowns even more. Maisie sighs. “It’s just that....that’s the suit you wore to court. Or when you meet with the lawyers.”

                Maisie tries to think of how to explain the rest of it. That when he wears the suit, he always returns home with a strained look in his eyes and gives her a hug like it might be his last. That when she was younger, she had spent days after each meeting with the lawyers or court appearance convinced that someone would show up and take her away or make her go back to Susannah or Beale. She doesn’t want Lincoln thinking about that at her graduation. She doesn’t want to think about that at her graduation.

                Lincoln studies her for a second longer, probably mentally peeling away her layers like he always has. But whatever he sees must be enough, because he gives her a smile, one of those goofy ones that Maisie can’t help but laugh at.

                “Well, Maise, I’m glad you said something, because I would have melted in this suit. How about that purple print shirt instead?”

                Margo and Maisie groan in unison. “Definitely not that one,” Maisie says.

                “Didn’t I give that shirt away?” Margo asks.

                “Now listen Maisie,” Lincoln says, leaning in close and handing her a plate with several Mickey Mouse pancakes on it. “This is why you have to be careful with women, because they’ll tell you they love something and the next thing you know, they’re trying to donate it to Goodwill.”

                “Hey! I never said that I loved that shirt.” Margo interjects, but she’s smiling fondly and Maisie can’t help but laugh. As the three of them sit down for a breakfast of champions, she feels like it’s still the three of them, hidden against the world.

 

                All of the students are required to show up at school two hours before the graduation ceremony is set to start. Margo and Lincoln drop her off and Margo walks with a group of her friends over to the gym and graduation assembling area. There’s a lot of milling about and attempted direction by the school staff. Eventually Principal Campbell gets up on the stage and organizes everyone alphabetically. After everyone is seated in order on folding chairs, the stage is cleared as the majority of the staff heads to the football field to finish preparing for the ceremony, so everyone starts chatting amongst themselves

                “Hey Maisie,” Jen Findlay says. Maisie looks over at Jen who she shared physics with this year. “Do you think your mom is going to show up?”

                Maisie’s made it this far in life by becoming an expert in not saying things. So, she doesn’t say “Yes, Margo will be here.” Or “Do you mean, will Susannah show up?”

                Instead, she smiles and says “Yeah, I think that Susannah might be here. But she does get really busy, so there’s always a chance she can’t make it.” Jen nods once very seriously.

“You are so lucky to have Susannah as your mom. I’m so jealous. Especially of that party she threw you for your sixteenth birthday.” Jen says. “I would have died of happiness.”

                Maisie makes the appropriate murmur of acknowledgement about how lucky she is. Maisie doesn’t tell Jen that her sixteenth birthday was the only birthday after Maisie’s tenth that her mom didn’t forget. Or that the only reason Susannah even remembered the day correctly was that MTV coordinated the birthday party after approaching Susannah about the idea. After all, it was too much for the network to pass up—the in-demand Susannah wishing her young daughter a happy birthday along with her nearest and dearest chart-topping friends.

                Everyone at school had talked about how lucky Maisie was. East/West, Kanye, The New World Revolution and almost everyone else who’d had a top 10 in the last year had serenaded Maisie from up on a massive stage in a massive club. Maisie had begged and pleaded with Margo and Lincoln to get out of it, but by then she knew that there was nothing that they could do. That they too couldn’t always win against her parents, that they had to pick their battles, and that this one favor was needed to keep the peace.

                On Maisie’s right, Sara Ewing leans in close to Maisie. “Will your dad be here too?”

                “Probably.” Maisie says. “But, he has to travel a lot for work and his plans change very quickly, so he could be called away.”

                Sara looks a little awestruck. “I saw him on the front page of the New York Times Arts section a few weeks ago for that new gallery he opened up. Did you get to attend the opening? I thought I saw some pictures of the two of you in the spread.”

                Maisie nods. “Yeah, he invited me.” She doesn’t mention how Beale had disappeared to talk with his clients and other art world luminaries as soon as the red carpet photos were over, leaving Maisie behind in the crowd for most of the evening.

                “I can’t believe that you got to go to such a cool event with all those amazing artists. I am so jealous.”

                “Do you ever get to travel with him?” Jen asks.

                The last time that Beale and Maisie had traveled together, Beale accidentally left Maisie in Charles De Gaulle airport and boarded his connecting flight to Moscow without her. Lincoln had been the one to pick up when she called home and helped rebook another flight to Moscow. He didn’t say anything bad about Beale, but Maisie could tell that it was a close thing. Just knowing that made her feel a little better about her own father leaving her in a foreign airport.

                Jen and Sara have moved on to talk about Susannah and Beale without requiring Maisie’s participation, so Maisie lets the conversation flow over her. Maybe Susannah and Beale will forget about Maisie’s graduation and not show up. Whatever small part of herself that can’t help but be excited about them showing up is more than trumped by the relief she would feel if they didn’t show up and cause any problems.

                But, if there’s one thing that Susannah and Beale are both good at, it’s showing up whenever Maisie least wants it (the inverse corollary: whenever Maisie actually wants them to show up, they never do).

                When everyone walks out to the field, Maisie twists around to look for Margo and Lincoln. She spots them halfway up the amphitheatre, both of them cheering and taking pictures. Margo and Lincoln have arranged themselves in order to best keep the peace. Beale is sitting coolly next to Margo, texting on his phone, and Susannah is sitting next to Lincoln, with what appears to be several members of her entourage on her other side.

                Maisie risks a quick wave and all four of them wave back, Susannah standing up and cheering loudly. Behind Maisie, Jen squeaks with excitement. “Oh my god, Susannah is here!” Of course. Half of her class looks over towards Susannah and Maisie can hear the whispers of excitement behind her. All Maisie can think about is Margo stroking her hair and the weight in her stomach, making every step harder and hard to take.

                All that Maisie wants is for the day to slow down, to have a chance to breathe and take in each moment. But once they sit down in the center of the field, the ceremony seems to speed by. There’s a brief second where Maisie stands on stage, accepting her diploma and smiling like mad up at Margo, Lincoln, Susannah and Beale and then the next thing she knows, everyone throws their cap up into the air.

 

After the graduation, Susannah, Beale, Margo and Lincoln take Maisie out for dinner at one of the nicest restaurants that Maisie has eaten at in a while. She feels massively underdressed next to the waiters who are wearing full suits that are out of a Grace Kelly film.

                “Maise,” Susannah gushes at the table, putting her arm around Maisie. “I just can’t believe that my baby girl is all grown up.” She’s been emotional since the graduation, tearing up every few minutes.

                “I know, I can’t believe it either.” Maisie says. She leans back into her mother, trying to push everything that she’s feeling down since everyone is making an effort to be civil. They’ve gone almost three hours without fighting—it could be a record.

                After everyone places their orders for dinner and drinks, Susannah looks at Maisie intently. “I know that you’re thinking about college, honey, but how would you feel about maybe taking a year off? Doing a year internship with me—in the recording studio, doing publicity, helping out on my upcoming tour? I would love to get to spend more time with you.”

                Maisie is silent for a moment trying to think of her response. She doesn’t say “I’ve been thinking about college for two years.” Or “I had to apply to colleges in the fall.” Or even “I’m not thinking about college, I’ve already told you that I’m going.”

Before she can say anything, Beale jumps in. “Or how about an internship with my company—traveling all over the world, getting to see the business side of art. That would be great work experience if you want to go into business and make money.”

                Susannah instantly reacts. “Oh, so now we’re teaching her that she should only pursue something if she’ll make money at it. That’s the message that we want to send our daughter?” And before Maisie can intervene, they’re off and running.

                “Guys,” Lincoln says firmly as Margo says “Beale.” Both Susannah and Beale stop and look at Maisie and seem to remember where they are.

                “That’s really nice,” Maisie says. “And I appreciate the offers—summer internships may be perfect once I figure out what I’m going to major in—but right now, I think I should focus on my first semester at Columbia.”

                “Yes, of course,” Beale interjects. “It is very important to get a good college education. Although I do wish that you had considered my alma mater. I know that Oxford would have loved to have you and it would be great to have you closer to me.”

                Maisie gives a half shrug. Margo jumps to the rescue with a story about Maisie’s volunteer work through school over the past year.

 

                The rest of dinner almost goes smoothly and by the time that everyone exits the restaurant, the mood is almost upbeat.

                “So, Susannah, Beale, are you going to be in town the rest of the week?” Margo broaches, as they wait for the drivers to come pick them up.

                Susannah turns to Maisie and responds. “Oh, you know that I would love to hang out, Maisie, but I used up all of my goodwill just to get today off. I have a photoshoot tomorrow morning and then I’m heading back to Los Angeles to do some demo work for my latest album.”

                Beale gives a small snort. “Of course you are.” Susannah glares at him, which he fully ignores. “I will be around this week, and I would love to see you, Maisie.” He looks over at Susannah, as if he’s daring her. “I’ll give you a call first thing in the morning and we’ll plan something, how does that sound?”

                Margo clears her throat. “Grad night tonight.”

                “Ah, right.” Beale says. “First thing tomorrow afternoon. Got to get some sleep in you.” He throws Maisie a cheesy wink, one that would have made her laugh as a kid.

                “Yeah, that sounds great.” Maisie says.

                Susannah’s driver and entourage pull up first and Susannah gives Maisie a big hug, and promises to call her often before the car quickly disappears into the New York traffic.

                Beale’s car takes longer to come, so they stand around, making awkward conversation until the car pulls up. After an awkward hug with Margo, Beale leans over to give Maisie a hug. Pushed by an odd feeling of nostalgia, Maisie grabs a little bit tighter than she normally does and when Beale pulls back, he stops and really looks at her. He sighs and seems much older for a second.

                “You’ve really grown up without us, haven’t you?” He says. When Maisie doesn’t answer, he kisses the top of her head and pulls her in for another hug.

                “Margo—you have all the account information for her college fees and everything, right?” He says, still looking at Maisie.

                “Yeah, I think so.” Margo says.

                “Well, if there are any problems, let me know immediately.” He nods once at Margo and gives an odd salute to Lincoln before getting into his own car.

                Maisie should feel better. She should feel great. Her parents have left for the evening, and the damage has probably even been negligible. Excepting Susannah's emotional display, the evening hasn't even featured tears or screaming. It's been the best family night in years. But instead, Maisie feels sick to her stomach.

 

                The ride back to school is oddly silent. Maisie can see Margo and Lincoln exchanging looks, but it isn’t until they’re stopped in the parking lot that Lincoln says anything.

                “Maisie, what’s going on?”

                “What’s going to happen next year?” Maisie asks.

                Margo looks a little uncertain. “What do you mean?”

                “What’s going to happen when I leave for college? Will I still come back here?”

                “I don’t understand.” Margo says.

                “Look,” Maisie says, frustrated and tired and the lump from this morning is back in her throat, making every breath hurt. She’s not going to cry, she’s not going to cry. “I know that I have access to certain funds now that I’m 18, so I won’t be destitute. All of those agreements that you worked out, they were until I was 18 and out of school. Which I will be. My parents can no longer legally use me to fight amongst themselves. Maybe I’m supposed to spend my school vacations with Beale or Susannah or some combination, not you guys. I just need to know.”

                “Oh Maisie,” Margo says instantly and wraps Maisie up in a hug. Lincoln joins in a minute later, bending down to envelop both of them.

                “Maisie, you’re stuck with us until the end of time.” Lincoln says.

                “Maisie, you are ours.” Margo says fiercely. “We love you forever and ever and you will always have a home with us. Always.”

                And finally, something breaks loose in Maisie’s chest and she feels like she is able to breathe again.

                When they move apart, there’s an odd silence as everyone tries to find their balance. Finally, Lincoln clears his throat.

                “Maisie, you will always be ours.” He opens the car door and makes an effort to pull himself together. “Now, you should get out and find the rest of your friends. You don’t want to miss the bus.”

                Maisie nods once and climbs out of the car. She’s started walking away, headed towards where Megan and Rick are getting dropped off near the front, when Lincoln steps out from the car. “Maisie! We’ll pick you up in the morning. Stay safe. We love you!” He blows her a big, embarrassing kiss.

                Maisie can’t help but smile as she waves back.


End file.
